Pepperoni with Extra Romance
by cre8ive.ovadose
Summary: Sebastian had never thought he would meet someone over the phone, let alone by ordering pizza. But his luck is changing and the mysterious Nick might not be as far away as he thinks. Nickbastian.
1. Chapter 1

Rating: PG

Characters: Sebastian, Nick, OCs

Summary: Sebastian had never thought he would meet someone over the phone, let alone by ordering pizza. But his luck is changing and the mysterious Nick might not be as far away as he thinks.

Warnings: Swearing

Disclaimer: I don't own Nick or Sebastian, I'm not that lucky.

A/N: This was inspired by a post on tumblr which can be found here (link may not work on ). I don't know whether this will turn into a full-fledged verse but knowing me, it probably will. I'll tailor warnings and ratings to each chapter as usual – I'll just post everything under this title in case it becomes more of a story than a verse. But I hope you like it :)

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**PEPPERONI WITH EXTRA ROMANCE**

Sebastian Smythe hated calling to order pizza – he always messed it up somehow. Last time he had forgotten to order Chelsea's vegetarian pizza. He had actually written down what he needed to say this time and leaned against the wall reading it over while the phone rang. When the pizza place picked up, he jumped.

"Westerville Pizza, how can I help you?"

"Uh, just a large pepperoni and a small vegetarian, thanks," Sebastian stammered. He felt himself blush and he hoped the guy on the other end couldn't tell how nervous he was. He really did talk a lot of shit for someone who couldn't even order pizza.

"Pick up or delivery?"

"Delivery, sorry," Sebastian replied before he gave their address. He almost got the numbers around the wrong way – _who did that_?

"Okay, that'll be sixteen bucks exactly and it should be there in half an hour."

"Cool, thanks," Sebastian hated finishing conversations. "Uh, bye – I love you."

Sebastian froze up – he couldn't believe he'd said that. And to another guy! He went to apologise-

"I love you too."

There was a long pause and Sebastian wanted to melt into a puddle and never be seen again. Why didn't he just hang up?

"I'm not gonna give you a discount on the pizza – just in case you were wondering," the guy said with a laugh. "Confessing undying love for each other isn't a good enough reason I'm afraid."

"Love's never enough is it?" Sebastian murmured, feeling something flutter in his chest. Yes, a heart attack would be a perfect reason to hang up.

"I'll uh – I'd better get back to work. Enjoy your pizza."

"I will," Sebastian replied before he hung up. He let his head fall back against the wall as he cursed his inability to talk on the phone. He heard something shift and he looked to the side to see his father watching him with an uncertain expression.

"Should I be concerned?" Marcus Smythe asked.

"No, no, it's fine. Um, pizza will be here in half an hour, sixteen bucks." Sebastian ran a hand through his hair before he headed upstairs and locked himself in his room. He faceplanted on his bed and growled into his pillows.

_I just made an ass of myself over the phone by telling the guy at the pizza place that I loved him. He's probably having a real good laugh, calling me a faggot._ Sebastian sighed and turned onto his back, an arm across his eyes. _I'm an idiot._

Half an hour later, the doorbell rang and one of his parents answered before Chelsea called Sebastian downstairs. He shuffled down the stairs, watching the delivery guy leave through the window and hoping he wasn't the one who had answered the phone. He headed into the kitchen to find his family staring at him with wide eyes.

"What?" he asked as the fear bubbled inside him. What had happened?

Chelsea handed him a napkin with something scribbled onto it. Sebastian looked down and read it, his face growing more red with each line.

_Hey,  
I just wanted you to know that you  
sound like one awesome dude.  
Yours truly,  
The guy you confessed your undying love for  
(AKA Nick)  
PS. By the way, you sound adorable  
when you're embarrassed. Call me again, maybe?  
(That could've been cheesier but I left the cheesy to the pizza)_

"Care to share, Sebastian?" Marcus asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"I uh, accidentally told the guy at the pizza place that I loved him," Sebastian admitted. He braced himself for the laughter he was sure was coming but it didn't. He glanced around at his family but his mother and sister averted their gaze.

"Well, don't lead him on. Use protection, all that safety stuff. Be home by ten on weeknights, twelve on weekends," Marcus said before he opened the pizza box. "Now let's have dinner so the awkwardness can dissipate."

Sebastian sat down and managed to stomach two pieces of pizza. As he thought about what his father had said, he found himself thinking that maybe he could find this guy, this "Nick".

It was worth a try, wasn't it?

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**A/N: So I don't really know where this came from. I just needed to write it. I've left this as "in progress" because I don't know if I'll continue it or not. I'll see how I go. It'll probably be a little fluffier than my usual stuff, I dunno. Tell me what you'd like to see :) Other than them meeting of course, I have an idea for that. But thanks for reading, I hope you liked it! –Em xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

A/N: It's really important that you read this so I'm gonna set it out long so you can't read the chapter yet :P

Okay, I've decided that this is going to become a full-blown fic of awesomeness, angst, fluff and Warblers. It'll all be posted in this story under this name and can be found on tumblr under the tag "fic: pepperoni with extra romance" which I am already regretting because it's super long.

The fic will be around season 3, starting in the summer (ie Chapter 1 is in the summer, the rest follows on) and probably ending around May, I don't really know just yet. But most importantly, the new and improved warnings for the fic…

WARNINGS: Character death (I'm sorry), talk of past illness, anxiety, depiction of traffic accident, out of character-ness, swearing, dark past experiences (I can't be more specific than this at the moment because I haven't done much planning), dark themes . - - - As usual these will be tailored to each chapter.

I'm sorry if this puts anyone off, I truly am. But I hope you stick around while it's still cute :) I'll foreshadow darker chapters in end notes. Thank you very much for taking the time to read this, I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

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**CHAPTER 2:**

Sebastian soon forgot about Nick. Well, he didn't _forget_. He just had no way to actually find him. At least, not a way he was willing to go. He hated his shyness and his awkwardness but he left it at a phone call and a napkin. That he kept in his top drawer.

The summer was soon over and Sebastian started at his new school: Dalton Academy. It felt more like a mansion than a school and the sea of boys in blazers was disorienting. He only really made one friend – Jeff Sterling. He was loud and boisterous but he carried the conversation so Sebastian figured it was a smart choice.

Classes were harder than Sebastian was used to but he felt like he was managing. His mother had talked about getting him a tutor but he was determined not to let it come to that. He was already weird enough.

One day at lunch, Sebastian was sitting with Jeff and his friends when an offer was made.

"Hey Sebastian, do you wanna come over to my place on Saturday? I'm having a get-together for my birthday," Jeff said. His other friends all looked at Sebastian and he felt himself shy away before he nodded.

"Sure." Parties had never been Sebastian's strong point but he figured it would make his parents happy.

"Great," Jeff said with a smile. "It'll be great. I have some friends from Lima I want you to meet."

Sebastian nodded but he felt his bravery dwindling and knew the wait for Saturday was going to be murderous.

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Sebastian arrived late to Jeff's party – he'd had an anxiety attack while getting ready – but no one seemed to notice. Jeff's living room was full of people – meaning teenage boys. Sebastian sat with Trent, who he recognised from school, and watched the others talking animatedly.

Jeff came in, loud as ever, and excitedly announced that the pizza was on its way over. "Nick and Blaine are bringing it when Nick finishes work."

There were cheers from some of the boys but Sebastian's focus was on Nick. It couldn't be his Nick, could it?

Sebastian's anxiety climbed again as he waited for the last two guests to arrive. And when they finally did, he couldn't believe his ears. The voice sounded exactly the same, Sebastian was sure of it. Nick was shorter than he was but he had big brown eyes that Sebastian was sure was making him melt. His dark brown hair swept across his forehead and hung down over his ears, curling up slightly at the nape of his neck. Sebastian found himself wondering what it would be like to card his fingers through that hair before Trent pulled him from his reverie.

"Come on, pizza," Trent said simply. He was shy too but Sebastian liked him well enough. He followed Trent into the dining room where the pizza boxes were spread across the table. Sebastian glanced up at Nick after he took a seat, smiling slightly and taking note of the enchanted look in Nick's eyes before he reached for a plate.

"Jeff, pass the pepperoni," he called down the table. He heard an almost inaudible gasp coming from across the table while Jeff passed him the pizza box. He put two slices on his plate before passing it back.

"Pepperoni, huh?" Nick asked.

"Yeah," Sebastian replied before he took a bite. "Mmm, cheesy."

Nick leaned across the table. "You're the one?"

Sebastian nodded subtly but Nick didn't push the conversation. They all ate dinner and laughed at bad jokes before they headed out to the park. It was dark and cold but once they arrived, they launched themselves at the play equipment they were all too tall for. Except for Blaine, he seemed to zip around without any trouble.

Sebastian found himself sitting on one of the swings, taking in the sight before he was joined by Nick.

"I can't believe you know Jeff. I can't believe I found you!" Nick exclaimed. "I don't even know what your name is…"

"It's Sebastian," he answered. "Sebastian Smythe. I met Jeff when I transferred schools."

Nick laughed, shaking his head. "I just can't believe it. What are the odds?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I dunno. But I mean… I thought you'd be weirded out by what happened. People usually take three steps back when I do stuff like that."

Nick smiled softly. "People don't know what they're missing out on then."

Sebastian laughed. "What? And you do? We just met – properly."

"Romeo and Juliet got married the day after they met – I reckon we're doing pretty well considering."

Sebastian laughed before asking, "So how do you know Jeff?"

"We used to be neighbours. I used to go to Dalton too but I had to transfer – parents couldn't afford the tuition."

"That must have been annoying."

Nick shrugged one shoulder. "Not really. We'd seen it coming for a long time."

"Can I ask what happened?" Sebastian asked, hoping he wasn't being rude.

Nick laughed softly. "Of course, it's fine. I uh, I was really sick. For a long time. I had leukaemia."

Sebastian felt his heart skip a beat. "But isn't that cancer?"

"Yeah," Nick said as he turned to Sebastian. His face was more serious now and his eyes didn't have the same sparkle they had when he'd sat down.

"Are you okay now, though? I mean, I know it's not that simple-"

"It's fine now," Nick interjected before he laughed softly. "You really are cute when you're embarrassed."

Sebastian turned a darker shade of red before he felt Nick take his hand. He couldn't fall out of love now even if he wanted to.

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**A/N: I think I'm really gonna like writing this story :) I hope I've given you sufficient feels :p I should have another update ready tomorrow, I'll see how I go. Thank you very much for reading –Em xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

Warnings: Anxiety

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 3:**

After the party, Sebastian didn't hear from Nick for a few weeks. He tried not to let it bother him. The guy was probably busy; he did have his own life after all. Besides, he had Sebastian's number; he could call any time he wanted. But by the end of the third week, the radio silence was beginning to drive him nuts.

Sebastian sat at a table in the library during one of his free periods, tapping his fingers against his textbooks as he fiddled with his phone. Jeff was sitting across from him, tense as he tried and failed to concentrate.

After half an hour, Jeff slammed his textbook shut and turned a glare on Sebastian. "Do you have to do that?"

Sebastian looked to him, confused. "Do what?"

"That incessant damn tapping!" Jeff growled.

Sebastian tucked his hands under the table. "Sorry. I'm just nervous."

"About what?" Jeff asked with a sigh, opening his textbook again.

"I'm still waiting for Nick to call me back."

"Have you ever thought of calling him?"

Sebastian blinked. How had that not occurred to him? They met over the phone, for crying out loud!

"Well?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll try that," Sebastian murmured as he stood. "Watch my stuff?"

"Sure." Jeff was thoroughly absorbed in his homework.

Sebastian headed outside to the courtyard where he took out his phone and called Nick. He took a seat on one of the wooden benches as Nick picked up.

"Hey Sebastian, I'm so sorry I haven't called. Things have been a little crazy here. What's up?"

"Not much. Just called to see how you were, I guess," Sebastian laughed softly. "How are you?"

"I'm doing good."

"Why aren't you at school?"

"Didn't I tell you? I finished school while I was sick – the hospital had this great program for sick kids."

"That's cool. So what do you do now?"

"I work; I'm on my way there now. Gotta prep everything for tonight."

"Fair enough. I won't keep you then."

"I don't mind. I'll be the only one there anyway. Why aren't you in class?"

"Free period," Sebastian answered as he leaned back, staring up at the sky. "I was driving Jeff nuts with my tapping."

"Tapping?"

"I tap my fingers when I'm nervous," Sebastian sighed and shook his head. "Which is … almost all the time."

"Why are you nervous?" Sebastian felt like his heart would melt at the concern in Nick's voice. How could he care so much about someone he'd met once and talked to on the phone twice?

"I dunno… I just am. I have been forever."

"What makes you feel better?"

"I'm not sure," Sebastian bit his lip. "Talking to you?"

Nick laughed. "Careful now, don't give me a big head. What else?"

"Um… Loud music – like old Fall Out Boy and Madina Lake, stuff like that. And uh," Sebastian swallowed harshly. "Lollipops."

"Lollipops?"

"Yeah," Sebastian felt himself blush. "It's ridiculous, I know."

"No it isn't, it's good. You need to know what helps you." Nick lowered his voice, "I may just have to keep some lollipops handy though."

Sebastian laughed brightly at that before his phone beeped in his ear. "Damn, my battery's running low. I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah sure. But this time – and I'm making a promise – I'll call you."

Sebastian blushed. "Okay."

There was a pause. "Is it too weird to say "I love you"?"

Sebastian couldn't wipe the grin off his face. "Aww I reckon we could get away with it."

"Great. I love you," Nick cooed.

"I love you too." Sebastian hung up before watching as his phone went flat. He sighed softly before looking back up at the sky and taking a deep breath. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this calm.

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When Sebastian got home, he plugged his phone into its charger straight away before he tried to focus on his homework. He got through a page of algebra and half an English essay before he got distracted. He rearranged his CD collection and read chapters from three different books before he cleaned his room. It wasn't because he was anxious, he still felt suspiciously calm, but he couldn't sit still.

An hour into his distraction, there was a knock on his door before his sister came in.

"Hey Seb, can I borrow your calculator?" Chelsea asked.

"Don't you have your own?"

"I left in my locker," Chelsea glanced around her brother's room. "You cleaned your room? You never clean your room."

"I got bored," Sebastian said with a shrug.

"When you get bored you shake," Chelsea narrowed her eyes. "Is there something going on?"

"No." Sebastian knew it didn't sound convincing.

"Yes there is. What is it? Is everything okay?" Chelsea sounded worried – she never sounded worried.

"Yeah, it's fine. It's nothing bad."

"What is it then?" she asked as she sat down on his bed.

Sebastian sat down across from her. "Do you remember that night we had pizza? With the note from the guy written on a napkin?"

Chelsea laughed. "Yeah, of course I do. What about it?"

"I found him."

Chelsea's expression fell. "What do you mean?"

"He's friends with Jeff, they grew up together. We met at that party a few weeks back." Sebastian couldn't stop the smile that split his face. "I really, really like him, Chels."

She watched him uncertainly for a few moments before she smiled softly. "That's great, Sebastian. I'm glad."

Sebastian smiled, unsure of what else to say but they were interrupted by Sebastian's ringtone blaring to life. Chelsea grabbed his phone, passing it to him but not without reading the name on the screen.

"Nick," she said simply.

Sebastian answered it eagerly. "Hello?" He waved his sister away, watching as she left.

"Hey Sebastian. How was your afternoon?"

"Fine. Yours?"

"Busy," Nick laughed slightly. "I had something I wanted to ask you. I totally understand if you say "no" though."

"What is it?"

"Do you wanna come over tomorrow afternoon? I'm not working. I was thinking we could hang out. I could show you how to make those pepperoni pizzas you love so much."

"That'd be great," Sebastian said as he lay down on his bed. "What time?"

"I was thinking just after school? I can pick you up if you need."

"Sure, yeah that'd probably be easiest. My parents are both working tomorrow and Chelsea's got band practice."

"Cool, I'll pick you up after school."

"What time will you have me home by? Parents'll wanna know." Sebastian couldn't deny that he wanted to know too. He wanted to maximise the time he could spend with Nick.

"Six or seven? No later than eight."

"Okay that should be fine with them. I'll send a text to confirm?"

"Sure."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"See ya tomorrow." Nick hung up before Sebastian could say "I love you" but he had the feeling that twice in one day would be weird.

He just hoped that the next day would bring them closer again.

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**A/N: I enjoy writing this Sebastian :) He's cute and innocent. Well, except for the lollipops ;) I had the cute idea for the next chapter while making pizza for dinner so hopefully it will be as adorable as I imagined :p But from the looks of what I've sorted out so far, this fic is gonna be half-and-half fluff and angst. There's some middle I still need to sort out but apart from that it's pretty much set in stone :) Well, as much as a fic written by me can be :p So thank you for reading and I hope you're enjoying it –Em xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

Warnings: Swearing, talk of past struggle with cancer, talk of trauma related to natural disaster, talk of anxiety

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 4:**

Sebastian couldn't sit still the next day. He couldn't believe how excited he was. He felt like a kid waiting to go to the candy store. He was tapping his fingers so much during last period algebra that he got sent to the library because he was distracting the other students. Sebastian didn't mind though because it meant he could get away with leaving before the rush.

And sure as the sun rises in the east, Sebastian was already in the parking lot when the final bell rang. Nick was leaning against his car with a smile and his hair swept back by the wind. Sebastian felt his breath leave him as he walked over and let Nick embrace him.

"Hey Sebastian. How are you?"

"I'm good. You?"

"Grand," Nick said with a goofy smile. "You may have to jiggle the handle a bit."

Sebastian nodded as he tried to open the door, getting it on the first try. "Your car must like me."

Nick laughed. "Why wouldn't she?"

"She?" Sebastian asked after climbing in.

"I call her Nora. A beat up old pickup truck like her needed a respectable southern name," Nick explained. He started it up and the truck spluttered before roaring to life. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"Whatever you say," Sebastian laughed as they pulled out of the lot.

"How was your day?" Nick asked as they sped down the highway.

"Not too bad. Couldn't focus though. Got kicked out of algebra."

"Ouch. Is that bad?"

"A little, not really. I do better at algebra when I'm on my own anyway. I can think more clearly. A lot of the teachers think I need to be monitored or something. I'm actually pretty smart though."

"So what are your best subjects?" Nick asked as they drove.

"Uh, I dunno. English and Lit probably."

"You like to read?"

"When I can concentrate long enough to, yeah. I find it hard to find books that I like, ones that I can focus on."

"What's your favourite?"

Sebastian thought for a moment. "_Peter Pan_."

"Why?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Because it's simple. It's carefree. I wouldn't be anxious in Never Land."

"Why _are_ you anxious? If you don't mind me asking."

"We used to move around a lot when I was younger. Dad used to work for the army. We were living just outside of New Orleans when Hurricane Katrina hit. Mom hid me and my sister in the basement, did all the right things. Dad was at work. But it was so loud and every time I close my eyes I can just hear the wind and the rain and the breaking glass. I was so sure we were gonna die. And then we didn't, and we had to leave and … I was never the same."

They were stopped at a set of traffic lights and Sebastian slowly turned to Nick, the sad expression on his face almost too much for Sebastian.

"I didn't think… God, that's just horrible. I can't imagine it…" Nick murmured.

Sebastian shrugged again. "You don't want to."

Nick reached for his hand and the calmness swept over him again. But it didn't dull the sound of shattering glass that echoed in his mind.

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As Sebastian stood in Nick's kitchen, he remembered just how messy cooking could be. They had only made the dough so far but Sebastian had flour covering up to his elbows and smudges of dough on his face. Nick was worse than he was but it was insanely cute.

As Sebastian watched Nick roll out the dough, he noticed scars on his arms and hands.

"What are the scars from?" Sebastian asked as he leaned against the bench.

Nick glanced to his arms before looking to Sebastian. "Work. Every single one."

Sebastian frowned. "How?"

"Burns – fumbling with pans, getting splashed with hot water or oil. I've only got myself on the knives once or twice. My parents were horrified the first time it happened," Nick laughed. "I've had worse."

Sebastian bristled before asking "What kind of worse?"

"Bone marrow aspirations were never fun," Nick said as his eyes glazed over with memories. "And the chemo made me so sick…"

"Did you lose your hair?" Sebastian didn't know why he kept asking questions.

"No," Nick straightened, wiping at his nose. "No, I wasn't on any of the drugs that take your hair. Do you wanna grab the tomato paste from the fridge? I'm just gonna wash my hands."

Sebastian nodded and headed to the fridge, taking the tomato paste from its shelf as Nick washed his hands. But Sebastian could still hear the hitching breaths as he tried to calm down. But they got back to cooking and it seemed all had been forgotten. Nick was laughing again and Sebastian felt there was no need to dwell on things he didn't understand.

They finished making the pizza and put it in the oven before retreating to the living room. Nick collapsed into one of the couches, Sebastian tentatively sitting beside him. Nick's eyes were closed so Sebastian took the opportunity to glance around. He noticed on a bookshelf there were photos and when he zeroed in on them, he realised they were all of Nick. In some he was smiling or with friends – in one he was even wearing a Dalton blazer. But in others, he was pale and fragile-looking. Sebastian couldn't understand why they would keep pictures of him when he was sick – isn't that something you try to forget?

"Those were taken just before I had a bone marrow transplant."

Sebastian jumped slightly when Nick spoke before slowly turning back to him. "How long ago was that?"

"Just under a year ago," Nick forced a smile. "Doesn't feel that long though."

Sebastian nodded but he didn't know what else to say.

Nick leaned back against the couch. "I really like you, Sebastian."

_Oh god. He's going to tell me something horrible. Is he dying? Is he breaking up with me? Is he moving? Am I annoying? Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god._

Nick didn't say anything; he reached for Sebastian's hand and pulled him closer. His hand moved up over Sebastian's arm and onto his shoulder before Nick curled his fingers into Sebastian's hair. Sebastian could feel Nick's breath against his cheek and was trying to control his own breathing as Nick leaned up to close the gap. Nick's lips brushed against his own and Sebastian didn't know what to do. He froze up, feeling his heart quicken before Nick pulled away. He felt Nick's hand stroking his hair before he heard him saying his name.

"Sebastian? Come on, say something. Have I done something wrong?"

Sebastian shook his head before choking out a "No".

Nick stroked his hair again, laughing softly. "You haven't done this before, have you?"

Sebastian blushed and shook his head again.

"It's okay," Nick murmured before taking Sebastian's hand. "I can show you if you want. Just squeeze my hand if you want me to stop?"

Sebastian nodded his agreement and he let Nick kiss him again. It was soft and wet but it felt kind of weird. Something stirred gently in his stomach before Sebastian slowly kissed Nick back. Kissing Nick was strange but it seemed right and part of Sebastian wondered why they hadn't done it until now. He carefully reached his free hand towards Nick's knee, smiling as the other boy gasped softly into the kiss. Nick laughed softly before he mirrored Sebastian, gently stroking his knee with his thumb as their lips moved together.

Nick broke the kiss, breathing in deeply before he laughed softly. Spittle dangled from his mouth and he wiped it away before looking to Sebastian.

"Was that better?" Nick asked.

"Yeah," Sebastian murmured.

"We should go check on the pizza."

Sebastian nodded. He had actually forgotten about the pizza. He let Nick lead him back to the kitchen where they found the pizza was beautifully cooked. Nick set it down on a wooden board on the bench before looking to Sebastian.

"It'll take a while to cool."

Sebastian shuffled closer, reaching out to gently touch Nick's hip. "Could we..?"

Nick smiled as he held Sebastian's hand where it was. "Oh we definitely could."

Sebastian felt a goofy grin spread over his face before he and Nick returned to the living room. Sebastian let Nick push him onto the couch, watching somewhat nervously as Nick climbed over him before leaning down and kissing him softly. Hands roamed over bodies and moans wound their way out of throats as lips sucked and smacked together. Sebastian had grasped a handful of Nick's shirt and gently rolled his hips forward before he heard the front door open.

_Oh shit._

"Hey Nick, I'm – oh… I'll uh; I'll be in the kitchen."

Nick had clambered off of Sebastian just in time for the younger boy to watch Mr Duval scurry down the hallway. Nick looked to Sebastian apologetically as he sat up.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," Sebastian managed a laugh. "I've just had a new life experience."

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**A/N: Teehee, I enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry it took me so long to post – I ended up in the city yesterday buying more books and then last night I had friends over so I wasn't in the right frame of mind to write when I finally got the chance to. But I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless :) Thank you for reading and I hope you're having a wonderful day –Em xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

Warnings: Swearing, reference to cancer, talk of death

Disclaimer: I do not own any recognisable characters or places.

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**CHAPTER 5:**

Kissing Nick was addictive. Sebastian could barely keep his hands off of the boy when they were together. Nick was surprisingly understanding about it though Sebastian wished he wasn't so patronising when he set boundaries. But he and Nick were doing well and when Sebastian was honest with himself, he could admit that he hadn't felt this calm in years. So when it came time for Dalton's Homecoming dance, there was only one thing Sebastian wanted to do.

Sebastian had taken to going and visiting Nick at work after school, doing homework while Nick prepared food and they chatted. It was a boring Tuesday afternoon, two weeks before the dance, when Sebastian finally plucked up the courage to ask Nick the question that had been burning in the back of his head.

"- and so, there were the three of us: Tina, me and Marco. And like, at this point we were all pretty sick which just adds to _majesty _of the prank. Tina manages to convince one of the nurses to take us out to the hospital playground for some fresh air because y'know, the only thing that fights cancer better than sleep is sunshine – which we later found out isn't totally true. So we all head down, I'm pushing Marco's wheelchair and then he takes off his oxygen tube thingy and hides it under his blanket – he wasn't allowed to walk because he was on his way out. He tells the nurse he forgot it and luckily she wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed so she believed him and while she was gone we-"

"Will you come to the dance with me?"

Nick froze, his eyes wide. "… No one's ever asked me that before."

Sebastian blushed before he got to his feet and approached the counter where Nick had been slicing up mushrooms. He carefully took Nick's hands, smiling up at him.

"I want to take you. I figured you didn't get the chance when you were at Dalton, because you were sick or whatever. Besides, I've never wanted to go to one of those things before and it'll be more fun with you."

Nick leaned down, smiling at Sebastian. "You're so sweet, baby."

Sebastian chuckled softly. "So do you want to?"

Nick leaned forward and kissed Sebastian. "I would love to," he said as he straightened again. "When is it?"

"In two weeks, on the Friday night. Jeff's picking me up from my place at seven if you want to come over and we'll all go to Dalton together. I think Jeff said he was bringing his girlfriend, Tayla."

Nick nodded. "Sure. Sounds good."

Sebastian smiled again before he glanced up at the clock. "Shit, I'd better get home."

"Okay, I'm not working tomorrow. Do you want me to come over after school?" Nick asked as he returned to cutting up mushrooms.

"If you want." Sebastian packed his books into his schoolbag before he crossed over to Nick again, leaning in for one more kiss before he hurried outside just in time to catch the bus.

When he got home, Sebastian's parents were sitting in the living room. Marcus held a letter in his hand but looked up from it when his son closed the door.

"Sebastian, could we talk to you for a moment?" Marcus asked.

Sebastian swallowed. "Sure. What's up?" He sat on the edge of the armchair across from his parents. His mother seemed worried but then, she always seemed worried.

"We got a letter from your teacher, Mr Kelley. About an English essay…"

Sebastian frowned. What had been wrong with his last essay? He'd had it in on time, it was long enough…

"He's asking for permission to enter it into one of those essay competitions the state runs."

Sebastian's eyes widened. "Are you serious?!"

"That's what the letter says, dear," Annabelle replied before she laughed. "Oh Sebastian, it's wonderful! Congratulations!"

"But I-" Sebastian sat back in the armchair, amazed. "Wow…"

"Guess the new school's doing you some good," Marcus said as he set the letter down on the coffee table. "Anything else you want to surprise us with today?"

Sebastian took a moment to answer. "Uh actually, yeah."

"What is it, sweetie?" Annabelle asked with a smile.

"I asked Nick to go with me to the Homecoming dance… He said "yes"."

"Oh Sebastian, that's wonderful!" Annabelle exclaimed. "We'll have to get you a suit! And a haircut! Oh my goodness! How exciting!"

Sebastian blushed as his mother gushed. It was going to be a long two weeks…

.

.

.

Sebastian hadn't been so nervous in his life. He was dressed and ready to go, waiting in the living room. His mother stood by the stairs, camera in hand. Marcus and Chelsea had gone out to get dinner – and avoid the madness. The doorbell rang suddenly and Sebastian just about jumped through the roof. Annabelle answered the door, greeting Nick brightly.

"Hello Nick! Oh, you look so handsome! Come inside, I want to get some pictures of you boys before Jeff gets here." Annabelle pulled Nick inside and pushed him towards Sebastian who had moved to stand by the stairs. Annabelle was snapping pictures every three seconds while Sebastian blushed and tried to apologise as he looked over Nick's suit. He was wearing a thin lapelled black suit with a white shirt and a black tie.

"Ugh, I'm sorry about her, I tried to ask her not to," Sebastian whispered as he laced their fingers together.

"It's fine, my mom did the same thing," Nick laughed. "Tonight'll be great, don't worry."

Sebastian squeezed Nick's hand before a car horn beeped outside. "Mom, that'll be Jeff. We'd better go."

"One more…" She took the photo before watching as the boys hurried towards the door. "You two be safe, you hear? And call me if you need a lift home!"

"We will, Mom. Love you."

"Love you too, have fun!"

Sebastian was thankful for the brief quiet as he and Nick ran across the lawn to Jeff's small car. He was the only one in it and Sebastian frowned.

"I thought you were bringing your girlfriend," Sebastian said as he climbed into the backseat.

"She got annoying. I broke up with her," Jeff answered as he pulled away from the curb. He glanced to Nick who sat beside him. "Dude, are you seriously wearing that?"

"It's the only suit I have, lay off!" Nick laughed.

"What's wrong with his suit?" Sebastian asked. "I thought he looked handsome."

"That's your fucking death suit, Duval! I remember going with you to buy it!" Jeff laughed.

"Death suit?" Sebastian questioned, looking to his boyfriend.

Nick sighed. "Yeah… There was a while there where the doctors didn't think I was gonna make it. We didn't have a matching donor. So Jeff and I went and bought me a suit to be buried in. Obviously, I never got a chance to wear it 'til now."

"So that's why you looked like you were going to a funeral when you walked in," Sebastian laughed. The tension lifted and everything felt okay again.

Tonight was Sebastian and Nick's first dance and it was going to be incredible. Nothing could ruin this night.

.

.

**A/N: I'm ba-ack. I re-read the four chapters tonight while I was at my dad's and figured it needed to be finished. But I'm participating in Camp NaNoWriMo at the moment so it might not be too fast a process. But I hope you liked this and are looking forward to the next chapter :) Thanks for reading! –Em xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

Warnings: Anxiety attack, PTSD, car crash, cliff hanger, swearing

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognisable characters or places.

.

**CHAPTER 6:**

The gym at Dalton was a mass of dancing bodies. A stage had been erected at one end of the room – thought the basketball hoop still stuck out from the wall, covered in streamers. A band stood on the stage, playing some Blink-182 song that Sebastian vaguely remembered. Jeff disappeared into the crowd as soon as they stepped inside while Nick and Sebastian slowly made their way around the edge of the room.

"I wonder if anyone will recognise me," Nick murmured. "I don't suppose there's many people left that I knew."

"Maybe," Sebastian replied. He reached for Nick's hand, smiling at his boyfriend before someone tapped Nick on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry for interrupting but, are you Nick Duval?" the guy asked. Sebastian thought his name was Thad.

"Uh, yeah," Nick's brow furrowed. "Wait, Thad Harwood, is that you?"

"Yeah!" Thad exclaimed. "Woah, I can't believe you're here, man! I thought I saw you at Jeff's party but I didn't get a chance to ask. What are you doing back at Dalton? Are you coming back for senior year?"

"No, I'm done with high school, got that all finished while I was waiting for a transplant match. I'm here with my boyfriend," Nick answered with a smile, pulling Sebastian closer. "Do you know him? Sebastian Smythe?"

Thad looked to Sebastian. "I think I've seen you around school. How'd you meet Nick?"

Sebastian blushed. "I ordered pizza one night and accidentally said "I love you". He said it back and tucked this little note in between the pizza boxes. We didn't meet until Jeff's party and we've been going out ever since."

Thad smiled. "Good for you two, then."

The music stopped and the singer grabbed hold of the microphone, everyone turning their attention to him.

"This next song is an old favourite of mine and I heard from a friend that it's a bit of a tradition at this school. So get your friends and enjoy this weird-ass song from ten years ago."

"Oh my god, they're still doing this?" Nick laughed. He grabbed Sebastian's hand and dragged him into the crowd where they found Jeff, Blaine and Trent.

_Her name is Noel_

_I have a dream about her_

_She rings my bell_

_I got gym class in half an hour_

_Oh, how she rocks_

_In Keds and tube socks_

_But she doesn't know who I am_

_And she doesn't give a damn about me_

_._

_'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby_

_Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby_

_Listen to Iron Maiden maybe with me_

_._

_Her boyfriend's a dick_

_And he brings a gun to school_

_And he'd simply kick_

_My ass if he knew the truth_

_He lives on my block_

_And he drives an IROC_

_But he doesn't know who I am_

_And he doesn't give a damn about me_

_._

_'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby_

_Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby_

_Listen to Iron Maiden maybe with me_

_._

_Oh, yeah, dirtbag, no, she doesn't know what she's missin'_

_Oh, yeah, dirtbag, no, she doesn't know what she's missin'_

_._

_Man, I feel like mold_

_It's prom night and I am lonely_

_Low and behold_

_She's walking over to me_

_This must be fake_

_My lip starts to shake_

_How does she know who I am?_

_And why does she give a damn about me_

_._

_I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby_

_Come with me Friday, don't say "maybe"_

_I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you_

_._

_Oh, yeah, dirtbag, no, she doesn't know what she's missin'_

_Oh, yeah, dirtbag, no, she doesn't know what she's missin'_

.

The room erupted into cheers and applause. Sebastian watched as Nick laughed, gasping for breath. Sebastian gently laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, let's go sit down for a minute," he laughed. Nick nodded and let Sebastian lead him over to a row of chairs pushed up against a wall.

"God, that felt so good…" Nick murmured as he leaned back. "Haven't sung like that for years…"

"Why do they sing that song? I don't even know it," Sebastian said as he sat down between Nick and the snack table.

"It was something we got taught by the older students at our first Homecoming in freshman year. The song, "Teenage Dirtbag", was the valedictorian's favourite song for some reason and it was just tradition to sing it all together at each dance. We kept up the tradition but I've only sung it twice." He cast a mischievous glance at Sebastian. "We'll have to get you educated on your early two thousands music, Seb."

"Gimme a break, I was five or six."

"So was I but I'm still well-versed in all things Blink-182 and Wheatus," Nick laughed.

Sebastian laughed back at Nick before he froze. Something had smashed and before he could stop it, he felt the anxiety spike. His breathing quickened and his lungs burned, he tried to find Nick's hand but could only tangle his hands in his hair as he tried to block out the noise. Shattering windows, splitting wood, the roar of the wind.

"Sebastian! Sebastian, stay with me! It was just a glass!"

Sebastian could feel Nick's hands on him but he couldn't block the memories that flashed through his head. He heard the screams and the cries and the whimpers, almost muted beneath the sound of the storm. He felt cold and his mind went blank before he came back to himself.

Nick's worried brown eyes peered into his before Sebastian threw his arms around his boyfriend's neck. He felt Nick press kisses into his hair and rub his back. They were on the floor now and Sebastian could only hope that no one had seen what had happened.

A teacher's voice met their ears and they peered up to see Mr Kelley.

"Are you alright, boys? Do we need to call someone?" he asked quietly.

"No, could you just find Jeff Sterling? Tell him we need to go home. He'll understand. We can meet him out at his car," Nick answered.

"Alright," Mr Kelley said with a nod before he disappeared into the crowd.

Nick looked back to Sebastian, gently wiping away his tears. "It's alright, Seb. It happens."

"I'm sorry I ruined everything."

"Hey, you didn't do anything wrong." Nick held Sebastian's head in his hands, looking into his eyes. "There is nothing wrong with anxiety, okay? And I'm always gonna be here to help you, okay?"

Sebastian sniffed before he leaned in, kissing Nick softly. "I love you so much."

Nick smiled as Sebastian pulled back. "I love you too," he whispered before pushing himself to his feet. "Come on, let's blow this popsicle stand and go get ice cream or something."

"Pepperoni pizza?" Sebastian asked sheepishly as he let Nick pull him up.

"Sure, why not?"

They headed out to the parking lot, surprised to find rain was bucketing down. Jeff was standing under the bus shelter and he sighed heavily when he saw his friends.

"Thank god we're leaving. It was so boring in there. What point is there in going to a dance if you don't have someone to get inappropriately close to?" Jeff asked as Nick and Sebastian ran over to him.

"I was thinking pizza, you in?" Nick asked.

"Sure, okay," Jeff pulled his keys from his pocket. The three made the mad dash to his car, Sebastian and Nick sliding into the back while Jeff climbed behind the wheel.

"Just to Westerville Pizza?" Jeff asked as he started the engine and turned up the heater.

"Yeah, gotta love that staff discount," Nick answered as he curled an arm around Sebastian's shoulders. Sebastian laid his head on Nick's shoulder, breathing in his cologne as he tangled their free hands together.

Nick knew that Jeff was driving too fast but he didn't dare say anything in case it set off Sebastian's anxiety again. He kept an arm tight around his boyfriend and breathed deeply as he watched Jeff drive. The radio was quiet, the traffic report warning of crashes in the area.

"Jeff, what else is on the radio? Got any CDs?" Nick asked.

Jeff felt around for the tuner but he only got static. He reached instead for the CD case in the compartment between the front seats. He glanced down, pulling out a CD and pushing it into the player. Nick hadn't been watching the road and when he looked up, he yelled.

"JEFF!"

Jeff looked up and swore, grabbing the steering wheel and swerving to the side, narrowly avoiding a truck. The tyres spun and the car fishtailed. Nick held onto Sebastian who he could hear swearing quietly under his breath. Jeff tried one more time to right themselves but he only lost control again.

Nick barely had enough time to register the tree before the car slammed into it.


	7. Chapter 7

Warnings: Car crash aftermath, funeral, sads, swearing

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognisable characters or places.

.

**CHAPTER 7:**

Sebastian felt sick to the stomach when he woke up. His body ached and the light hurt his eyes but he could hear someone calling his name so he forced them open. He could see his mother peering down at him, could feel his hand being squeezed.

"Mom…" he groaned.

"Oh sweetie, it's alright. Everything's alright. You're safe now. Everything's okay now."

"Where…"

"You're in the hospital, sweetie. You and Nick were brought in by the ambulance. He's alright – he broke his arm and dislocated his shoulder – but the doctors said that if he hadn't had his arm around you, you might not have made it-"

"Jeff… What about Jeff…"

There was a pause before Annabelle kept talking. "You had a nasty knock on your head. There was lots of glass, lots of scratches. They said you had some broken ribs but that you were going to be okay. I'm so glad you're okay, Sebastian. I was so worried – we all were."

"Mom," Sebastian swallowed thickly, trying to wet his dry throat. "What about Jeff? Is he okay?"

Annabelle's eyes turned dark and Sebastian felt her stroke his hair, prickles of pain splintering through his skull.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie… There wasn't anything they could do for Jeff. He died on impact."

Sebastian felt the weight settle in his chest. He knew there was nothing he could do. Slowly, he felt himself lose the feeling in his arms as legs as he lay frozen while his mother wept into his blankets. He couldn't feel anything and he wasn't sure if he was ever going to feel anything ever again.

.

.

.

Sebastian had taken to walking up and down the hallway of the hospital ward. They wouldn't let him go home and he didn't understand why. As he walked up and down on the third day, with Chelsea at his side, he was surprised to find Nick sitting in a chair staring out a window. His face was covered in cuts and his arm was in a sling. He looked up at Sebastian sadly before turning back to the window.

"Nick…" Sebastian murmured.

"I can't talk about this, Sebastian. I have to-" Nick shook his head as he stood. "I'll see you at the funeral."

Sebastian turned to watch as Nick headed back down the hallway and into a room, closing the door behind him. Chelsea gently rubbed her brother's back and held onto his hand.

"What did I do wrong, Chels?" Sebastian murmured.

"He's just upset, Seb. He needs time to work through this too," Chelsea replied. "Come on, let's go back to your room and play Scrabble or something."

Sebastian let his sister take him back to his room and they started playing a game of Scrabble. Eventually, he just stopped playing and fell asleep with tears in his eyes while Chelsea sat in the corner and did her homework.

.

.

.

Sebastian was discharged from the hospital the day before Jeff's funeral. His mother drove him home where he tried on his new suit. It reminded him of Nick's death-slash-Homecoming suit and after Annabelle decided it "looked nice", he took it off and cried himself to sleep.

The next morning was spent in near silence as they all got ready for Jeff's funeral. Driving to the church was torturously slow and made Sebastian anxious and fidgety. When they arrived, Sebastian let Chelsea lead him around while they tried to find some of his friends. They found Blaine first, who immediately pulled Sebastian into a tight hug before leading him to the front of the church where the boys from Dalton Academy were sitting in the front row on the left side. Sebastian glanced up and down the line but he didn't see Nick.

"He's not here," Blaine murmured. "I called him this morning and he said he would come to the cemetery though. He's been in a lot of pain since the accident – his shoulder and arm and everything. But at the end of the day, I think it's just because he and Jeff were such good friends."

"I hadn't realised they were so close," Sebastian whispered. His entire vocal range had been reduced to whispers and murmurs. He didn't have the strength to speak louder.

"Jeff was there for him, for a long time. He was the only one of us who knew about the cancer from start to finish. I guess it's hard for Nick to let go of that."

They fell silent after that and soon, the funeral started. They were led by some obnoxious clergyman who led them in prayers and hymns that Sebastian didn't know the words to. His eyes kept falling on the closed coffin and he wondered what horrors lay beneath the wood and the flowers. There were no pictures around and Sebastian assumed from Mrs Sterling's loud sobs, that it was so they weren't caused any more pain.

They all made the trek up to the cemetery on the hill where Sebastian found himself searching for Nick. The boy was already there when they arrived, standing under a nearby tree, watching with a grim expression. He was wearing a suit that looked identical to the one he'd worn to Homecoming, coupled with a red bandana around his head with a matching one clutched tightly in his hand. Sebastian moved to join him but Blaine and Trent pulled him to stand alongside the coffin.

It was all very grim and depressing and Sebastian didn't want to be there. His broken ribs made standing difficult and uncomfortable and he was glad when it was over and he could go and speak to Nick. Nick hadn't moved throughout the service but there were tears in his eyes now.

"Nick, are you okay?" Sebastian asked quietly. His knuckles were white where he held onto the bandana.

"We shouldn't have asked him to take us home," Nick growled. "We shouldn't have been in there in the first place. We should have stayed at home and eaten pizza and then he'd still be alive and I wouldn't be-" Nick cut himself off and shook his head.

"You wouldn't be what?" Sebastian asked as he gently reached out to touch Nick's shoulder. He pulled away, striding over to where the coffin had been lowered into the ground.

"I'm sorry everything got fucked up, Jeff. We should have taken care of you. You did so much for us," Nick's breath hitched before he tossed the bandana into the hole. "You take care of that, okay? It always looked better on you anyway."

Sebastian watched as Nick turned away and headed down the hill to where Sebastian could see their parents watching them.

"Nick, what are we gonna do?" Sebastian asked. "I don't wanna feel like this… I don't wanna-"

"We don't get a choice, Sebastian. This is our fault. We have to live with the consequences now."

"But I-"

Nick rounded on Sebastian, his eyes red with tears. "It's over now, okay?! It's all over. It's done. We fucked everything up and there's no going back anymore!"

Sebastian froze, watching in horror as Nick stalked down the hill and climbed into his parents' car. They drove away, gravel crunching under the tyres, before Chelsea walked up to join her brother.

"Are you okay, Sebastian?" Chelsea asked slowly.

"It's all over now," Sebastian whispered. "No going back anymore…"

Chelsea pulled her brother into her arms as he dissolved into hiccupping sobs. She didn't know what he meant, but she knew there was no point trying to tell him otherwise.

.

.

**A/N: There's only gonna be one more chapter. As much as I would like for this to be a really long fic, it's just not gonna turn out that way :( But I hope you're enjoying it and thank you very much for reading :) –Em xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

Warnings: Cancer stuff

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognisable characters.

.

**CHAPTER 8:**

Sebastian didn't see Nick again for a long time. He spent his free time studying and he passed every class with flying colours. He got his driver's license and his parents bought him a small car that reminded him too much of Jeff's. He even won the essay competition Mr Kelley had entered him into.

But life felt empty without Nick and Jeff. Sebastian wanted his friends back. And so it was, one day, on the brink of summer, he found himself driving to Nick's house. Sitting outside in his car, Sebastian was surprised that nothing had changed though he didn't know why that thought surprised him. But then he wondered what had changed inside. He had known for a long time that most of life occurred within a house and he wondered how much of Nick's life had changed in the house Sebastian sat outside of.

With a deep breath, he climbed out and wandered up the garden path past Mrs Duval's rose bushes and knocked on the front door. Sebastian stepped back, peering up at the sky briefly before the door opened and a rush of cold air slammed into him. Mr Duval stood in the doorway, a surprised look on his face.

"Sebastian, what a surprise. How have you been?" Mr Duval asked. He seemed pale and tired, bags hanging under his eyes.

"I've been good, yourself?" Sebastian asked. Sometimes he missed his nervous stammer; he knew he didn't sound like himself anymore. He sounded braver now.

"Very good, very busy. I imagine you're here to see Nick. He's up in his room. Do you remember the way?" Mr Duval asked as he stepped aside, letting Sebastian in.

"Yes, I do."

"Give us a shout if you need anything, Ellie and I are home this week."

Sebastian nodded before he slowly made his way up the stairs. The door to Nick's room was closed so he knocked but there was no response. Sebastian hummed softly before he slowly opened the door. Nick's room was dark, a fan buzzing away on a desk. Sebastian looked over to the bed where he saw that Nick was curled up and fast asleep. He had the red bandana on but it covered his whole head this time. Like his father, Nick had bags under his eyes and Sebastian thought he looked pale but he couldn't be sure.

Reaching down, Sebastian gently shook his shoulder and stepped back as he watched Nick wake up.

"Hey Nick," Sebastian murmured as Nick rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Seb? No, you can't be here… You don't-" Nick's eyes grew wide and he sat up, pushing himself against the wall. Sebastian frowned at him in the darkness before he reached for the bedside lamp. Light flooded the room and Sebastian gasped softly. Nick **was** pale, as a ghost. He looked frail and tired and something was sticking up under his shirt over his heart. Sebastian looked back to the bandana before he slowly reached out and pulled it off Nick's head.

"Seb, please don't freak out, please. I wanted to tell you. I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. It was too much. I didn't-"

"I thought you were… I thought they fixed you," Sebastian whispered. He sat down on the edge of the bed and clutched the bandana to his chest, unable to take his eyes off of Nick's bald head. Six months had changed so much and Sebastian hadn't even noticed.

"I-I had a recurrence. They found it when I was in the hospital after the crash…"

"That's what you meant at the cemetery," Sebastian murmured. "When you said it was "all over"… You didn't have Jeff to help you anymore."

There were tears in Nick's eyes and he shook his head. "It's so much harder than last time… I feel horrible all the time. I got in to UCLA and I didn't even smile."

"You got into UCLA?" Sebastian asked, a little surprised. He hadn't known Nick was planning to go to college.

"Yeah," Nick sighed. "Don't know why I even bothered applying, I knew it was never going to work out."

"Hey, don't say that," Sebastian said quickly. "We can sort this out. I'll help you. We'll get through this together and then in the fall you'll go to UCLA and be this cool college guy with heaps of new friends to help him through whatever happens next."

"It doesn't work like that Sebastian…" Nick looked at him sadly. "I know you're trying but…"

Sebastian reached for Nick's hand. "I want to help you, Nick. You don't have to do this alone…"

Nick smiled slightly. "You know, when they told me in the hospital, you were the only thing I wanted…"

Sebastian smiled back. "I didn't know that."

"I didn't want this to end, Sebastian… I didn't know what to do. I wanted to stay with you. I was just so scared."

Sebastian nodded slowly. "I'm not gonna try and say that I understand because I don't. But I want to. I want to be there for you, in whatever way I can."

Nick squeezed Sebastian's hand gently. "You sound older, braver… What happened?"

Sebastian shrugged a shoulder. "I dunno, I just got better. I guess I figured being scared wasn't gonna help me."

"I always knew you were brave," Nick said with a smile. "It takes a brave guy to say "I love you" to a stranger and then continue the conversation."

Sebastian laughed. "Yeah I guess it does."

Nick reached out with his free hand, carding his fingers through Sebastian's hair. "I love you so much, Sebastian."

"I love you too, Nick."

"You sure you wanna do this?" Nick asked.

Sebastian smiled. "I've never been so sure of something in my life."

Nick crawled out from under the covers and wrapped his arms tightly around Sebastian. Nick was still scared and they both knew that this wasn't going to be easy but they were one of a kind and they both knew that was something worth fighting for.

.

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**A/N: And that's that. I hope you liked it.**

**I do have an idea for another fic – a BadBoy!Jeff/Nerd!Nick AU that I'm a little partial to. I don't know when I'll get something for that up but I hope you'll give it a chance when I do :) Thank you very much for reading and let me know what you thought in reviews :) Thanks lovelies –Em xoxo**


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